That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
high people should be assigned attendants
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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