She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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