I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
