anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize