How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
