U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
