So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
