I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
