im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
