No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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