Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
