He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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