And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
