I am in a vortex of obligation.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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