i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize