so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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