we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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