i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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