Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
