I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
