fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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