You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
