If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
