Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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