They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
