we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
