We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
