She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
