Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
