we have pet lesbian snakes
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Randomize
