i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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