I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize