Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i love accidental penises.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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