You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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