I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
