so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize