I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
