I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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