R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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