I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
