Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
