i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
