Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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