Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize