Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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