everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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