Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
