Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
