too bad you live with your parents still
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
