He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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