Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
