Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
