are you still at the devil's house?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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