Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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