you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
