i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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