My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
