It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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