Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
