Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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