well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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