its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
