i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Randomize
