So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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