how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
