Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
