I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He felt like a one man threesome
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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