how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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