forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
